Change is a scary thing even for someone as myself who has moved so many times. I used to be a lot more excited about moving in my younger days, moving off to college, to Bay Area after graduation and to Toronto shortly thereafter. A new place brought new people, excitement and essentially a playground to explore but at age 32, a move denotes leaving behind a life I’ve settled into for the past 9 years. I know I need this change but my heart is just not prepared for the unknown.
Days before I flew back to Toronto, I was offered a job opportunity that gave me guidance and discipline which I sorely need. But it’s in Hongkong which means I have to uproot myself and G. I’m glad he’s supportive and willing but I can’t help but feel the pressure to supply G. some form of stability with work and money since I initiated this move even though he never once requested anything. Having been back in Toronto for a month, I’ve been busy meeting people, old and new, as opposed to the funk I have been in for the past several years where I’ve been anti-social. I know I am gonna miss my friends here when I leave as I did when I left Hongkong. It’s not easy to break out of my comfort zone now as it was in my 20s. I’m now faced with responsibility and social ties which I didn’t have a decade ago.
Change is hard but I’m somehow looking forward to it for a new career and people, I just have to get over it.