Cutting Ties

It’s weird how lust masks your taste. I’ve been looking at Steven and Patrick’s facebook photos recently and thinking to myself ‘what was I thinking?’ They don’t look good and are totally not my type. Recent encounters with Stephen tell me he’s just WEIRD.

Ever since I decided that nothing was gonna ever happen with Steven, the chemistry between us has obviously changed but he’s just plain weird and rude now. He and a few other friends attended my Mr. Gay night, he was cold and shrugged me of the entire night. I tried my best to overlook that but I gave up and didn’t even bother talking to him, leaving early that night. Over lunch on Friday, he kept talking with Elly as if I wasn’t at the table. Steven always analyses me, the analysis which are not untrue but oftentimes debasing, as if to prove he’s better than me. I don’t need friends to prove they’re better than me. I thought I could maintain a friendship with him based on mutual respect but the guy is just weird.

I recounted this and Shirley, who asked Steven point blank after I left that night why he was so rude to me (it was that obvious! everybody saw it) Steven just said “he has a family.” This plus several comments from others seem to justify that he still has feelings for me thus explaining why he’s acting out. I mean he admitted he wasn’t ready for me when I visited after I cut things off. I wanna talk with him about it but he’s obvious too proud to acknowledge I am anybody worthy of his attention, so I’ll just cut ties with him because I’m not that desperate for friends to hang out with someone who enjoys mocking me.


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